I was so nervous, yet still a little excited. This was my first ever discipline spanking and I knew I had a lot coming to me. I was told by my disciplinarian (still weird to say) to keep a list of every time someone says I complained, but I somehow misinterpreted that to how many times I complain throughout my day. So, whenever I complained extensively to anyone, I would write it down and say a little of what I was complaining about. My list grew long in a short amount of time, but I was trying to be as honest as possible. I don't even believe I got to a week before Michael told me to stop with the list, it was way too long for any one person to have complained that much in such a short amount of time. He got me really thinking, he talked about how I appear to be optimistic and kind, yet with this long list I seemed like an angry little girl with a chip on my shoulder. I do not want to be like that at all, but I couldn't control my frustrations. I let simple things get under my skin and I needed to stop, all it was doing was hurting me. I stopped keeping track and tried to cut down on the complaining before I even had my discipline session. I would like to think that even the thought of discipline, from someone whom I have no other connection with, made me think twice before complaining. Michael made a copy of my list and didn't seem to like the way I phrased things, but didn't say much at the time. Before I came over for my discipline spanking, he asked me to remember the number of complaints I had on my list when he asked me to stop tracking them. I was very worried when I realized that the number was 135, I knew in my head what that number was going to mean.
I got up that morning and tried to keep myself busy before I left to get my spanking. I was lucky that my fiance was there to comfort me, he could tell how nervous I really was. I don't even know if I was scared of the actual spanking, or if I knew that the scolding was going to be worse. I left a few minutes late, but luckily I arrived just on time to Michael's place. I brought a few different outfits with me so Dana could choose what was best, but when it came to discipline I only needed a bra and panties, plus some heels. I had just bought these 6 inch black pumps since I was told it would help keep my back arched and ass up, good for both the camera and easier access for the spanking. It was almost necessary to feel a little exposed during discipline, not to humiliate, but to psychologically make you vulnerable for the discipline. The spanking was going to hurt, but it was really just meant to reinforce the scolding and change the bad behavior. This was all so new to me, I understood the concept, but actually experiencing it was going to be different. Michael sat me down to talk before we both got ready for the shoot. He had some notes in his hand, but first he asked how I was feeling and what was going on with me at the moment. We talked about how emotional I was feeling with all the changes going on in my life and then we got right to the point about the list. He mentioned that I had a long list of things I wanted to work on, but to be able to work on everything else I first needed to stop with the complaining. We discussed how important it is to not let things get to me, that complaining really only hurts me. I now understood how important it was to my health, both mentally and physically, to not be such an angry person that holds grudges. If I continuously complain about the same thing, that means that it has gotten to me and is keeping my entire being in a negative state. No one wants to be around a person that just bitches about everything all the time and especially about the same things. Michael really got me thinking about the severity of this tiny little thing that I put almost at the bottom of my list of things to work on. I knew he had more to say, but was going to save it for the discipline.
I got changed into the bra, panties and heels and I was told to place my hands on a desk and arch my back with some space between my feet. I felt bare, open and unprotected from the spanking to come; I believe that was the point of this position. Michael had a large, thick leather paddle in his hand that was completely new to me. He started talking about why I was here today, mentioning that we had just discussed why I need to work on my complaining. He didn't talk for long at first, getting right to the point with how many complaints I wrote down in my notes. I told him 135 and he said that I was going to get a stroke for each complaint. That number sounded huge, and I knew this spanking was going to feel long. He asked me if I was ready and I said yes, I was to count each stroke out loud. I was in shock a little with the first whack, I forgot to say the number out loud and he had to tell me again to do so. I started counting with each stroke, but it was hard not to move. I knew that I was to hold my position at all times during discipline and I did good for most of it. Michael stopped after just 10 strokes, reminding me that 135 is a long ways away. He then pulled down my panties and continued spanking me until we got to 25. He kept reminding me that I still had plenty more to go and asked me if I regretted complaining that much. I already did, but there was not changing that number now and so we continued up until 50. Stopping to look at his notes, he walked over so he could look me in the eyes. "Stupid" was all he said at first. I had used the word stupid 15 times, idiot 3 times and moronic 3 times as well. The scolding was beginning. Michael brought up how I wouldn't like it if someone called me stupid or an idiot and that now one is in fact one. Every person knows something that I don't know and I need to stop with the mean language. I was starting to feel really bad, I mean I knew that those words weren't nice, but it didn't stop me from using them before. I felt worse when Michael scolded me about it, yet I couldn't figure out what was making his words get through to me more. The spanking was definitely hurting, but I could handle a spanking. I guess the combination of the two, while being exposed, helped my brain soak it in.
Michael looked disappointed in me as he walked back to spank me. The whacks came faster as we made our way to number 70. Just over half way there, he muttered as we went to get his notes again. He mentioned that I complained about my animals 7 times, and this is not okay because we all love animals. They do not understand what they are doing to upset us and it is not their fault either. I really do love animals and with the way Michael was talking to me, I felt so ashamed of my complaints. I would never hurt an animal, yet being angry at them due to my annoyance at the time is not good. I need to not project my frustrations onto them. Michael knew that I loved animals as well, which is why he wanted to point this out. He got back into position and mentioned how sore my bottom was looking and if I wanted him to move it around a little. Before I could even answer he started whacking away at every inch of my bottom. He hit on top, on the sides, right in the middle and in the sit spots. Whew, it was starting to hurt! He continued all the way to 100 strokes before stopping again, I kept thinking that there were only 35 left to go.This time there wasn't much a break, he talked for a second before continuing to stroke 125. Micheal's next note was about my job, the majority of my complaints I would say. I deal with people all day long and he wanted to talk about how lucky I was to have a job. I really do appreciate my job and I enjoy it most of the time, but I also need to work on how I treat people. I shouldn't get so frustrated with others and realize that they have feelings, too and are going through their own problems as well. For the next 5 strokes he had me repeat "people are people too, just like me" after each stroke instead of saying the number. His next, and what I thought was his last point, was about my fiance. I was to repeat after each stroke that I love and support my fiance. Again, this was for 5 strokes, I was at 135, yet Michael wasn't done. He had me repeat a few different things, one about my love for my animals, another about how I love my job and he ended with me repeating that I love myself too much to be a whiner.
In the end, I am not sure how many strokes I actually got, I would say at least 150, but the spanking really wasn't the worst part. I felt so bad for everything that I complained about and did not want to complain about much anymore. Michael asked me if I wanted to complain right now, about him or anything, he kept saying that I could if I wanted to. I could honestly say that I did not want to complain at all and would try my hardest not to overly complain again. Michael then told me to pull up my panties and then he gave me a hug. Afterward, we just talked about how I wouldn't want to have this conversation with him again. The punishment would be much worse for a second offense and I absolutely don't want to find out how much worse. He told me that I did really well and took my discipline like a good girl, I mean I only kicked my leg up once! I agreed with him that the scolding was much worse than the actual spanking, I guess that is what makes it true discipline. If you beat the heck out of someone without talking, then they would probably just dislike you. The scolding is what really makes the discipline matter. Its what you will mostly remember when you look back on it. Not to say that the spanking didn't hurt, it really did and I am reminded of it almost every time I sit down. I must say that the paddle really did a number on my ass, its bruised in a way that I had never seen it before. I will definitely think twice before complaining.
Dani
You can see a short preview and purchase a download of the whole eighteen minute spanking video at Big Stick Spanking.
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