Protect Yourself

I knew that today was going to be different since I was getting spanked by Dana instead of Michael. I just didn't know how different it would be and how much of an impact it would have on me. Michael had been emailing me for the last few weeks, saying that he know I had a high pain tolerance and that Dana would be testing out how much I could handle. So I was absolutely expecting it to be more severe and I knew that Dana could hit pretty hard. I got to their place and sat down for our usual talk and I was mentioning a lot about my frustrations with work, mainly my boss and also my employees. So much is expected from me and I don't get the appreciation I deserve for doing it. I have this conversation a lot with them and its not that I don't appreciate having a job in general and there are certain aspects that I enjoy, but I do a lot. I do my job, my boss's job, I clean up after my employees mistakes and I don't stand up for myself. Michael and Dana are constantly telling me that its not okay to be treated this way or to let it get to me in the way that it does. 

After our fairly long talk, they told me to come upstairs and help set up the scene, this time before getting ready with hair and make-up. I walked in to see a bed full of various implements, all of them looking pretty vicious! There had to have been at least a dozen of them, none of them being dainty or small in any way. I got more nervous than usual, but we were just setting up so I still had time to freak out. We went over the scene and positions so we could set up the cameras, all the while Dana was getting in my head about how this way was better for her swing or this way she could hold on tight to me. I knew that she was psyching me out a bit, but it didn't stop it from working.  When the cameras were all set, they let me take a minute to fill out some paperwork. I came back to find Dana sitting in the first position on the bench, waiting for me. She called me over to sit down and then they started filming. 

I was completely thrown off guard. I hadn't gotten changed or done my make-up or anything! Dana began talking about how we weren't going to do that this time, that we were just going to start the spanking. In this scene we were going to be using a multitude of implements on me and then she asked me which one I thought would hurt the most. I pointed to the one next to the cane, which was the curse of Dana Wallop. So she picked it up and made me put out my hand so I could feel the hefty sting. I remembered seeing a video where she tested it and it looked like it hadn't taken much effort or time for her spankee to be crying out in pain. Dana then mentioned that the best part about this one was that it really didn't require much swing for her, she could keep wiggling back and forth effortlessly and it would still hurt tremendously. I definitely believed her, but she put it back down for now and went on to discuss that this video had two names picked out already. Depending on how it went, it would either be called Breaking Dani or Unbreakable Dani. She asked if I thought I could make it through all of those implements, especially since she really didn't want to title it Unbreakable Dani. I nervously said that it looked like a lot of mean implements, but we will have to see if my butt could handle it.

Dana said that we would find out soon and then told me to stand up and grab the first implement while I was up. It was a thick wooden brush and this would be my first time being hit with an actual brush. I grabbed it and then laid across her lap. She asked me if I should even get a warm up since tough girls like me shouldn't. Though, she was kind enough to warm me up while explaining all the areas I could be spanked. She was hitting both cheeks, of course, on the top of my butt, my sit spot, on the sides and lastly the dreadful thighs. The warm up stopped there and she grabbed the brush. It took her only a few swats to pick up some speed and it stung like no other! The actual brush was pretty painful and showed no mercy. Dana started talking about how she made a lot of people wish she had a safe word, which of course I didn't have either. She asked me what I would do if I hit my limit, to which I replied that I would simply get up. Well, of course, its not so simple to get up when Dana has leverage and she showed me. I was to try to get up, while she continuously whacked me hard with the brush, and alas I couldn't. Then she moved my one leg over hers so she could prove an even more strategic way to keep me from moving and then swatted away at the center of my cheeks. I was moaning in pain and wishing that maybe I could wiggle away, but I knew I couldn't and that I had something to prove.

She had me get back into position for a few more whacks and then had me get up again to grab a couple of implements this time. There was a thick, wooden spoon and a thin strap and also a rubber paddle. She started off with the spoon, mentioning how I had experienced a spoon before, but nothing like this one. It was really thick and packed a big bang! I was kicking and moving as much as I could while Dana kept picking me up and slapping my feet away. It hurt so bad, but I knew I could handle more and before I knew it she had switched to the strap. It was so small and sharp, hitting every crevice on my bottom. My poor thighs got the most of it, I was starting to miss the heavy spoon when the strap hit between my cheeks. She moved on suddenly to the rubber paddle. Stopping only to ask if I had experience the rubber before. I had once in my first discipline video, but not like this one. It looked thin, but hit hard! She kept hitting and hitting, I was shouting, but not stopping her. I knew I could handle it, I wish I didn't, but I wasn't stopping her. In fact, she had me get up again and grab the next two. 

I saw the big round paddle coming next and was not looking forward to it. She talked for only a moment before showing no mercy with the dreaded paddle. I wasn't even caring what else was going on at this point, I was in pain and with the paddle it was radiating through my body. It seemed to land straight on my cheeks every time. She kept spanking me really fast for what seemed like a long time and then told me to get up. Knowing that there was only so much force you can put into an otk spanking, we were moving to me on my knees and elbows. She already had another paddle in hand and was talking about how tired she was, which I was as well, but in a completely different manner. She started to hit all over with the rubber paddle, talking about how she was tenderizing my bottom for the other stuff. Then of course, moving on to hitting me hard with that one before grabbing the next one. 

She told me that I learned a lesson not too long ago about the difference between being a submissive and being a pushover.  Dana then kept asking me what that lesson had to do with today's session, while still hitting me. I told her that I couldn't think right now and so she went on to tell me that maybe it had to do with learning when to stand up and protect myself. She tossed that paddle aside and was hitting me with what felt like a whip and kept yelling at me to protect myself. She quickly moved on to another paddle, going right into hitting me hard on my sit spot. I felt myself wanting to get up, but something kept stopping me. It wasn't until the next implement, the curse of Dana, that really made me start to shout! She kept saying that she wasn't going to take it easy on me, but when was I going to protect myself. She stopped for a moment to tell me that just because I can take a skin breaking beating, doesn't mean that I should. I need to decide for myself when its too much and enough is enough. 

I was fighting some real inner demons during the last few minutes. I was in a lot of pain from the wallop, to which she was not cutting me any slack with. I was moving around so much and doing everything besides standing up, to get away from the pain. I wish I had the knowledge that I do now to stand up and stop the beating before it became too much. I kept taking it and taking it and even after she whacked me senseless with the curse of Dana, I didn't stop her. She gave me the opportunity to say that I've had enough, she paused and asked me again before grabbing the cane. I didn't say anything, I wanted to, but my mouth wouldn't move. So Dana had me get back into position. She started immediately hitting me hard with the cane and talked about how I had taken over 115 strokes of the cane with Michael. It was nothing like this, though, this cane was thick and she was giving it all of her might. I was almost getting up, I was screaming and I kept putting one foot down, but I just didn't get up. She again, gave me a chance to stop her, giving me to the count of 5 to stand up. I kept putting a foot down and then back up. It hurt more than any spanking I have ever had before, but something inside of me didn't want to quit. Like I thought that I would disappoint her by stopping too soon, but really I was just disappointing myself and Dana by letting it go on. She hit me really hard after she saw that I wasn't getting up and then she just stopped.

Dana walked over and knelt by my face, making me look at her. She asked why I had let her do this to me, that this was too much! I didn't know, all I could say was that I knew I could handle it so thats why I kept going. At this point, I had begun crying a little for what was a multitude of reasons. She was talking about how I had gone through so much in my life and that my heart had been beat up just as much. I let people walk all over me and a lot of the bad things in my life could have been stopped if I had just stood up for myself. She had me get up and look at her while she told me that she never wants me to let anyone else do this to me, to my butt or my heart. Dana hugged me for a long time and I kept crying. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that I let happen to me in my life. All of the times I let someone take me past my limit, emotionally and physically. I got myself into bad situations just because I didn't want to let someone down or because I thought I could handle it. It doesn't make it okay. I am a tough girl and I have been through a lot. I shouldn't have experienced all of these things, no one should have to go through what I have gone through. Not just with Dana, she only did this cruel spanking to get it in my head that this was not okay. I need to protect myself and hopefully now I can look back on this spanking and learn from it. I definitely don't want to be beat up like that again and I don't want to be emotionally torn down, either. I have to stop letting others treat me like crap and stand up for myself. I can't change the past, but I can make a better future for myself and the people I love.

I have to thank Dana, and Michael, for teaching me this lesson in the harsh way that I know wasn't fun for them either. I cannot share my appreciation enough for what they have done for me. This was by far the most emotional lesson that I needed to learn. Its going to take time, but I think I can slowly start to change that pushover side of me. 

Dani

Watch the whole spanking!

"Unbreakable Dani" at :

DanaKaneSpanks.com

Submit and Have Another

I was so excited to see Michael and Dana after an amazing vacation. I had so much to talk about and was happy that I was able to get a discipline session in before heading back to work the next day. As usual, I had no idea what the session would be about today and I didn't bother asking. I trusted Michael enough to know that whatever we discussed would be relevant to my life and what I needed to work through at the time. I felt happy on my way to their place, but halfway there I started to get the nervous butterflies in my tummy. It never ceases to disappoint that in the car ride over, my body realizes its about to be hurt and not knowing how doesn't help. I am always excited, too, knowing that I am getting a spanking, but part of the fun is being surprised about the scenario in which the spanking will take place.


I arrived a few minutes early and caught up with Dana while Michael was still preparing. I was able to see the spanking bench as soon as I walked it. I got more and more nervous as I was sitting there talking. Dana is really great at not bringing up anything that will be happening in the session. So we continued to talk like normal, not mentioning the scary looking bench in the middle of the living room. Michael finally came down and we caught up for a bit before getting to what the session would be about today. He asked me if my views on being submissive have changed since we first got together. I said that I am starting to understand the difference between being submissive and being a pushover. Just because I choose to be submissive, doesn't meant that I have no voice or that I am submissive to everyone. I feel as though wanting respect, but listening to my partner can both be achieved without discrediting the fact that I will submit to my significant other. I was a bit confused on what this had to do with anything, but Michael doesn't forget much so I just figured it was something he remembered about me and wanted to check in with it.


He didn't let me ponder long before bringing up that me being submissive has not shown much in my sessions. I was confused because I thought that being obedient and taking my spanking was me being submissive. It is to an extent, but we were going to go more into it today. He said that he was going to prop me up on the bench and use the cane on me today. I was going to say "please sir may I have another one" after each stroke, as fast as I can until I can't say it anymore or until he feels he is done. I was very nervous, and he saw that so he let me hold the cane that he was going to use so I could examine it. I had been hit with the cane before during a play session, but I was blind folded and I didn't know it was coming or that it was being used until after. So in my mind it was used softly since it didn't hurt, but now that I knew that I was being hit with a long, hard, wooden stick it seemed to be even scarier.


I gave the cane back to Michael and he did the dreadful thing that all caners do, he swung it really fast and hard so it made that whoosh sound. Chills went down my back every time I heard a "whoosh" of the cane. He only did it a few times, but that was enough to shut me up. He asked if I was able to do what he asked and I said I would try and that I think I can do it. I was told to get dressed and ready now so we can start soon. I did and then we played the ever so fun and nerve-wrecking waiting game where they set up the scene. I think being on camera is great, I really enjoy knowing that people can see my progress with the discipline, but setting up the cameras is difficult. I know that Michael and Dana giggle a little every time knowing that watching and waiting is making me that much more shaky.


They do a great job though, so I really can't complain, but tell that to my floaty stomach and tingly limbs! Once the scene is finally set, Michael helps me onto the bench and I get into position. My knees and hands are on some nice padded, but thin rests while my body is hovering above the center padding since this looked nicer, so much for me sinking into the center rest with my chest and head. I think that my sitting up on hands and knees made me pay more attention, though. Michael started to rub the cane against my bottom, right on the sit spot. I got so nervous and he talked about that and reminded me not to lean back since I could fall off the bench. Great, like that is going to help my nerves. I have to receive I don't know how many scary cane strokes, hold position and not lean back or I could fall. Now I was really trying to sturdy myself my holding on to the front with my hands tightly.


We started to roll camera and Michael talked about my list. How a lot of the things on my list are having to do with not talking back and listening more. I giggled a little and replied that he was right. He said that we were going to work on me being submissive today since I seem to have some difficulties with doing what I am told. I was not to say anything else, but the previous phrase mentioned as many times as I could. I knew that if I stopped saying it too early, or even at all, that I would disappoint Michael and I don't like people being disappointed in me. So I braced myself and we began after I agreed to the terms. Michael hit the sit spot, but it looked like he tried to do it lightly. It still hurt and I moved a little. Still trying to keep my balance, I said "please sir may I have another one" and replied with yes you may. He sounded pretty eager and I started giggling a little while still wincing when he hit. I'm sure it didn't take long until one of my pretty little black and white heels shot up in the air.

See the full scene "Please Sir, May I Have Another at

Big Stick Spanking

For the first couple of strokes he was nice enough to just have my dress lifted up and my underwear tucked up in between my cheeks. Yet, that didn't last for long before he pulled my underwear all the down, leaving me open and exposed during the caning. I kept saying the phrase as fast as I could after each stroke, he stopped me once and said that I had to wait for the next stroke. I looked back to see when he was going to hit again and he hit so hard that my head spun back around. He seemed to be slowing down, but hitting harder! I was struggling to say it quickly since I was too busy saying ouch or wiggling to brace myself for another. That didn't last long before he mentioned that I needed to speak faster and I did. The more it hurt, the faster I said it. Now he was hitting me hard and fast for what felt like forever. He would hit up and down and then really low on my thighs. I was kicking and trying not to fall at the same time. He stopped me once to tell me to lean forward so I wouldn't fall. I know he warned me before, but its so hard to concentrate on not falling when you are getting whacked with a stick very fast.

He went right back to hitting me hard and fast and after each time he would say yes, yes you may. Until he finally said, no you may not. I was shocked, I didn't think it would ever end or that he was going to make it even harder on me in some way. When he stopped, I started breathing heavily, I don't know if I was holding my breath or just saying the please sir may I have another so fast that I couldn't catch my breath. Michael walked behind me to admire his work and poke my bruises. I asked him if it looked bad and he said that it looked as bad as it feels. I sat on the bench for a minute longer, collecting myself before attempting to get off it without falling. Michael helped me off and then hugged me saying that I did a great job and then he asked if I was ever going to stop saying the phrase. I told him that I honestly don't know if I would have stopped. I really like to do what I am told to the best of my abilities and hate to disappoint anyone that I am close with. He laughed and set up some ice packs so I could sit down. It was such a different experience and it really helped me get in touch with my submissive side. I get so busy with life that I sometimes don't get to just get out of my head and let go. Doing what I am told is so relieving for me and finally being able to let go during a spanking was great! I didn't even think twice on shouting if I wanted to, the only thing I had to do was say what I was told to. Well that and try not to fall, which I did not!

I was very proud of myself when I left that session. I felt at peace and like I was myself. This was just what I needed before getting back into the craziness of reality. Where I have to deal with all kinds of people and random problems arising with no expectations. Which, trust me, the bad things happen when you least expect them to. Now, I feel as though I am able to collect myself, slow things down, and just do what is in my own capabilities. I don't need to impress everyone, but I need to be myself and listen to those around me. Its hard to explain how being able to submit or take orders is relaxing, but for me it is. Its something that I am comfortable doing with the right person and it keeps my thoughts at ease. I can finally be delightful Dani for a bit longer  :)

Dani

Friends for a Reason, Season, or a Lifetime

I pride myself on being a caring person and being able to get along with a vast variety of people. Yet, sometimes its better off to have fewer friends because some people are not good for you or good to you. They might be using you for any number of reasons and if you aren't getting something out of it in return then what is the point of wasting your energy on a one sided relationship. It takes me time to be able to see how much I am giving a person and then compare it to how much I am getting in return. More times than not, I am doing way more for them than they are for me. I would never want to leave someone hanging if it isn't a big deal for me to help them, but I have to think if they would do the same. That is what a one sided relationship is and most of the time you realize it when times get tough. If you need help and no one comes to your side, then those people aren't really your friends. As much as I am friendly, I don't in fact have many friends at all.

I have one true friend that has been with me through thin and thick. She would do anything for me and I would do anything for her, but we also know when its too much. If it were something completely serious then I would drop everything in a heart beat to help her, but I do have a life. If its not life or death then its okay to wait to talk and we both get that. We have lives and jobs and other people, but we know that no matter what the other one cares for us. Its important to have a friend like that in your life, someone who isn't family or your significant other. You need someone who you can vent to about family, boyfriends and work. Someone who knows exactly what you are talking about, yet are not directly involved in any of it. A friendship is better than therapy, they can offer you advice and won't be offended if you don't take it. I am so lucky to have her in my life and that she doesn't judge me or anything I say or do. She understands me and I understand her. She is what I would consider my platonic soul-mate.

I have a fiance that I love dearly, but my best friend is on that same level with him. In a completely different way, I would be heartbroken without them. I hope that they both know this and I need to realize that they are all I need right now. I may not be close with my family or even have as many friends as a I thought, but as long as I got them then things will be okay. I am not good with loss and right now, going through the many changes in my life, I have realized that certain people aren't meant to be apart of my journey. At first, it was a great loss to realize that I am better off without these "friends" yet they weren't friends at all. Friends are there for you when you need them and respect your boundaries. They would never make you choose between them and another person. They would never want to see you unhappy and they sure as hell would never bring you down. I need to reassure myself that I am not loosing a friend if they don't fit this description, but that I am ridding myself of anyone or anything that threatens the happiness of my life.

Dani